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Article by: Kelly Sargent

 

Recently a friend from Finland confided in me about her frustration and confusion about Australian guys: to my surprise I was able to reassure her of some really bizarre behaviours. Not that these are always the case, but there are certain things Aussie guys do that are very puzzling, and after years of observation, I was able to help clear up some confusion.

Of course the following is a big generalisation; and should you not like that, don’t read on.

The story goes: My Finnish friend was agonising over the antics of a guy she met out at a club; they shared mutual friends and he was hanging about her all night. He followed her, approached her and tried to engage her (most obviously when others tried too), and generally blocked anyone else getting near her for over six hours. At the end of the night she gave in and they had a cheeky sweet pash before parting ways; to which he said, “I want to see you again” but didn’t proceed to ask for her number. He left. Just left.

My friend figured he may contact their mutual friends for her contact details; which, two weeks later he did. That was now a month ago. She hasn’t heard a thing.

What. The.

Truth is, maybe he is not that into you. Truth is, maybe he is.

I found it ridiculous to explain that while he may not be interested, it is also possible he really is interested and suffers from ‘She’ll be right’ syndrome and is typically shy.  I never intend to give false hope; however, this is a real and seriously problematic syndrome plaguing Australian men.

While my Finnish friend’s admirer didn’t seem so; generally speaking – Aussie guys are really shy.

 

  1. Why so shy

Aussie guys are by and large very shy and awkward when it comes to women; honestly, they really do not know how to approach or talk to women. The fact that all they need to do is give us attention, be interested and listen, keeps evading them, somehow.  For an Aussie guy the most mortifying, catastrophic thing to happen, ever, is to make an unwanted advance on a female. They would simply die. Die. Die of shame. So instead, they don’t. They’re very shy, and have to consume at least a slab of beer before having the guts to walk up to and talk to an interesting girl. By the time they come blabbering about, the inevitable rejection (by that stage) leaves them yet again dumbfounded and licking their sensitive wounded egos. This repetitive act proves to themselves, ‘if only I had few more drinks, it would’ve made me wittier or rejection wouldn’t hurt so much’. Argh.

Disclaimer: of course I don’t know if they think this; however, their behaviour rarely changes and drinking less doesn’t ever appear as an option to them. Bless.

 

  1. ‘She’ll be right’ Syndrome

‘She’ll be right’ sufferers take the lazy and idealistic view of, ‘if it was meant to be, it will be’. It’s possible (probable?) this European beauty’s guy could’ve gone out with his mates multiple times since ’hoping’ to run into her; indeed wanting to. It is like an inactive deluded drama where they honestly think the stars have it aligned and should they be destined to see you again, they will. Aussie guys are smart enough to know the workings of the universe are beyond them and so take the approach of, ‘let things take their course’. This mixed with the ultimate fear of coming on ‘unwanted’ renders them socially inactive, although, possibly very interested in you.

“What if another man approaches me in the meantime?” my Finnish friend with her gorgeous blonde hair reasoned.

Well, then it gets worse; if he were to see you with someone else in that time he’ll simply think YOU are not into HIM – and he’ll thank his lucky stars he didn’t ‘come onto you’ as that’s a sure way to kill himself with shame when you weren’t all that interested anyway. See the problem?

 

Are shy and ‘she’ll be right’ sufferers then gutless? Possibly. Bizarre? Certainly. So this begs the question: Are they cowards?

I’d say no, absolutely not; but we should probably settle for socially inept, for sure. (You can bet any Aussie guy reading this is screaming in his head, ‘Why can’t she call ME? It’s the 21st century, girls can call guys!’ – correct, they can, however I’m trying to explain your bizarre behaviour to our foreign friends out there, and regardless; this attitude of ‘why can’t they call’ from either side is ridiculous and damaging; hence no one is together – geesh, just call – if you’re interested, act so.)

So before I enrage half the population with taunts of ‘you want equality’ and the rest; let me say that while the start may be confusing; Aussie guys are well worth it once you have one because:

 

  1. They are loyal

Possibly because their drunken antics could not ‘woo’ another woman; Aussie guys are not typically cheaters. While it’s a struggle to get together, once there, they’ll likely never cheat. Sure they aren’t as suave as Fabio or Raul; they don’t have the charm or sway, but they are not as wandering either.

 

  1. They’ll protect you.

In opposition to their mortifying fear of ‘coming onto you’, you can be sure if you’re uncomfortable with advances from any guys, mates or partners will often step in to ensure you’re okay.

How awesome.

Many moons ago there was a particularly drunken guy bothering me as I tried to shimmy out my fabulous two-wines-down dance moves on the D-floor. A tall guy to my left simply picked me up by the waist and placed me on the other side of him, putting himself between me and the annoying drunk guy. How perfect. It was swift, strong and sent a clear but friendly message, don’t mess with her or you’ll deal with me. This guy wasn’t even a direct friend, he was a friend of a friend – and wouldn’t have thought much of it. The beauty of this incident is his act was not expected, but not unexpected either, and that’s how awesome Aussie guys can be.

 

So after all this nonsense and if you’re still confused; I plead, just have some patience. Aussie guys are confusing and not great at communication; but totally worth it, and feel free to slag them off in your lovely foreign language any day, they won’t understand it anyhow.

 

All the best,

 

Kelly

 


 

Image attribution – Pixabay: SplitShire