Being cheated on by your spouse is an act of selfishness and carelessness on their behalf. What a cheating spouse might not realise is there are so many after effects caused by such a deep betrayal of trust.
It has been three years since my spouse cheated. It has changed me. It changed my whole perspective on love and life. But I am proud to say I got through it all.
I got through the nightmares, the hard times and the painful torment. As a victim of being cheated on, I am proud to say I am now happy and I am now strong.
Although it was a long road to emotional recovery for me; I would like to share some of the things I went through in the aftermath in hope of helping others who may be experiencing some of these same emotions now, or may find themselves where I was in future.
- You will find it extremely hard to trust again
The day I was cheated on was the day I knew I couldn’t give my whole heart and trust away again. I became broken. It has taken me a long time to begin to repair myself.
- You will blame yourself
I kept questioning where and how I went wrong. I felt as though it was all my fault. Maybe if I was a better girlfriend, he wouldn’t have been seeking more affection elsewhere.
- You will feel as though you’ll never be happy again
I felt as though all my happiness had disappeared and there was no way that I could feel happy again, whether it be with my same partner or someone else. Happiness seemed impossible to feel ever again.
- You will wonder if you’ll ever be able to move on
I’ve seen some people after being cheated on seem like they were still happy. I didn’t know how, because at the time it felt as though I couldn’t move on from the pain. It hurt too much.
- You will feel weak and alone
I felt as though now that he was gone, I was alone. He left me, he abandoned me. How could he leave me crying there?
- You will cry… A LOT!
I can’t even count how many days I spent crying. I didn’t know I could cry so many tears. I would cry myself to sleep and the second I woke up; I would cry some more.
- You will question whether the love you shared was even real
I asked myself, how could he tell me he loved me every day yet leave me to see someone else? Surely he didn’t love me if he could hurt me so bad. You should never hurt someone you love. To me, it’s impossible. I wouldn’t do that to him. Why did he do it to me?
- Your emotions will change erratically from day to day.
One minute I’d cry, and then I’d feel the urge to punch a wall. I went from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. I couldn’t stand it. I tried to smile but an instant gush of sadness and anger would flood my thoughts.
- You will try to convince yourself it didn’t happen
I would think back to the nights he said he was elsewhere and think, “Maybe he really was there?” Maybe he just didn’t want to break up with me, so he was just looking for an excuse? Or maybe, just maybe, I was dreaming.
- You will be heartbroken, but you will survive!
After you’ve been cheated on, it hurts so much but you realise how strong you can actually be. It’s a reminder that things happen out of your control, you gain the ability to forgive and it’s a chance to start anew.
Being cheated on is unfortunately something that happens to people but it doesn’t have to be all negative. There is always a silver lining. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. There will always be a new reason to be happy.
You just have to find your inner strength and push through it all.
It might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but someday it will all feel okay again. You will feel okay again. I promise.
Image attribution: Pixabay